Tuesday, May 24, 2016

It's not personal!

I know yesterday I wrote about people and their emotions but I wonder, is there some sort of middle ground for freedom of expression. 

Can we actually compromise on personal opinion to accommodate another? Is it possible to choose to listen without bias to what differs from us?

One of my most enjoyable moments is in the gist of debating an ideology with someone who feels entirely different about it. Of course, it quickly bores me when they think I’m trying to put them down and start offending me. 

It quickly goes from enjoyable to “I don’t believe how immature you are being right now!”

I think we’ve all had those awkward moments before, sometimes with us at the offensive end of the spectrum.

So, I’ll suggest a few reasons why you shouldn’t take things too personal when caught in the midst of a free idea-sharing moment.

When I was growing up, in my teenage years actually, my big brother told me a huge secret; he said

“Learn to separate the person from the situation!”

A very valuable lesson that has influenced all my relationships since! The ability to realize that your relationship with whoever is not hinged on differing opinions is a true mark of maturity! That right there is the first way not to take things too personal.

Realise that other people’s rudeness is not about you. Some times people lash out because they’re hurt and what they say really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them!

Ask yourself what else the comment or behaviour might mean. Did you hear what they said or you heard what you wanted to hear? Yep, it happens to the best of us. Many times we take offense because we got lost in translation. If they criticize you take it easy. Pick what builds you and discard what does not.

Always believe the best of people. Once you start there, even when people are crappy about nothing, you’ll see past their strange behavior.

Also don’t kill yourself about the fact that you can’t please everyone. Get over the addiction to be a people pleaser by realizing that no matter what you do, they’ll always be someone to disagree with you.

You’re not perfect. It’s possible to work towards perfection- it is the higher mark but you ultimately will not ever be perfect so get over it too.

You are not defined by your mistakes. You are who you think and believe you are. You are not defined by other people’s opinion of who you are.

I reckon that once you get past all the above, it will be much easier to not take things too personal.

2 comments:

Joel Benjamin Ntwatwa said...

I think this is very valuable advice on touchy issues of opinions these days.

Joel Benjamin Ntwatwa said...

I think this is very valuable advice on touchy issues of opinions these days.