Friday, September 30, 2016

Should I hate marriage?

Someone asked me if I hate marriage... Yes, I was actually asked if I hate marriage. I couldn't help but laugh at the question because who honestly hates marriage? The more I thought of it though, the more I tried to understand why that would be their general impression of me in that regard!

I love marriage or at least the thought of it as I have not been married before. However, what I have an issue with is people viewing marriage as some sort of destination. The mentality of arrivalism because one has been married(wedded) is what really irks me so very much. Because you see, for a very long time I believed that marriage was some sort of major accomplishment!!!

Don't get me wrong, maybe it is for certain people who have allowed society to let them believe it is. For this reason, many people will readily put their lives, even themselves on hold because they're looking to settle down. They continually mold themselves into who they hope the person they'll settle down with will want them to be. I totally disagree with that because then why have we been made individuals?

If your individual traits cannot get you that which you think you're looking for, then you're simply a mold of societal expectation!

And because everyone is trying to be the person that gets hooked based on what they think is required of them, the world lacks so much originality! There is too much 'fake' going around in the name of getting hooked. I believe you can only be someone else for so long. Very soon, and I mean very soon, it will frustrate you so much that the very thing you thought you wanted- so badly- will become the thing you try to get rid of!

Why you ask? Because you were made to be you not who everyone else thinks you should be. Therefore, in relation to the above question, if marriage is a pit stop in life's journey in which individuality is not crushes out of insecurity bred in selfishness, I will celebrate it but if a person marries trying to fit into society's mold, then I will raise dust about it.

Either way, marriage is a beautiful thing: get married for the right reason!

Thursday, September 22, 2016

We're all the same- different!!!

When you grow up, you want to be classified as a grown up. No? I reckon that's by far, the biggest lie of our existence because there's no growing up, is there? We're all a bunch of kids playing pretend on the playground hoping to get noticed or to pretend that we don't care about getting noticed.

Am i being sarcastic? I really don't know! I'm not too certain where the line between sarcasm and blunt reality is. In the sense that what we think is reality may actually be a continuous figment of our imagination that we've held for so long and now believe to be truth.

Which begs the question, is truth therefore definite or relative. Again, I have no clear answer to this question because who knows if what I think is truth is only truth because I have existed with it for so long that I now believe it to be so!

For a long time I allowed myself to believe that when you grow in years it automatically warrants growth in maturity. Now I laugh at how absurd an idea that is because one way or the other, we are just children in a bigger world.

When we were young, we had no responsibility hence our freedom to be ourselves without too much thought but the more we grow, the more we fit into molds made for us by I don't know who! Women learn to behave a certain way, and men do just the same because that's who society expects us to be.

Even the so-called rule breakers all behave a certain way because they have been programmed to believe that to break the rules, you must fit a certain mold. Therefore dispelling the notion of being different because in a bid to be different, we all end up being the same- different!

This is the paradox of life. Nothing is really what it seems and everything is subject to change, except God of course.

The rest of our existence is just a vicious cycle of trying to be different only to end up being the same. Children in a bigger playground! I call dibs on the candy lol!

Monday, September 19, 2016

Beauty is only skin deep!!!

"Beauty is only skin deep! No one cares if you're beautiful on the inside, that's not what hooks people. you gotta make an effort to first be presentable on the outside then we'll pay attention to what's on the inside- if it's necessary"

I don't quote this opinionated woman lightly. my thoughts in regard to her sentiments cannot be defined in one particular direction. I agree with her to an extent but I very largely disagree with her on the other hand.

However, approval or not, I must say she echoes the prevalent school of thought in this generation. Just from an observers point of view, it is quite obvious that 'Beauty is only skin deep'! Young women, future mothers, wives, thought leaders- all believe it and as such capitalise on the outward appearance like they're in some sort of beauty contest.

Heck, even some employers believe it. They'd rather give the job to an empty-headed good-looking girl than to a sober minded average looking one. All in the name of attracting consumers to their product. Don't get me wrong! I'm not saying a girl shouldn't look all that... I'm just saying there's got to be more to a person than what meets the eye.

I'm not shaming beauty but man, there's got to be some brains attached to it. It's very unbecoming to speak to a person and realise they have nothing to offer except their looks. And more and more, it seems to be the norm. Even with the next generation. The media is grooming them to be empty headed dolls and parents seem to be pushing them in that direction!

Beauty is fleeting! It has always been, it will always be! Build yourself woman, your brain is your selling point!

What do you have to offer the world?!

Friday, September 9, 2016

If I ever find you anywhere near my man, I will kill you!!!

"If I ever find you anywhere near my man, I will kill you!!!"

Hehehehe, that's my very evil laugh!

Who makes statements like that? And why? Who told people they can own people? I don't mean that any other way but sarcastically!

It really beats me that a woman, in her right state of mind would fight with another woman, over a man! Really sister, really? There cannot be a valid reason to do that. I get that sometimes some women try and overstep into 'your man's life but darling, no one bewitched him into likinh them. And no, contrary to popular belief, I don't think that when a man strays, it's entirely your responsibility as a woman.

It always takes two to tangle. If a man finally strays it's because he's been entertaining thoughts of straying and decided to act it out. Whether he thought it through or not, is entirely on him. He may have thought it through, he may have not. Again, I don't think there's anything you could have done to force him into straying.

I'm not saying shift the blame, I'm simply saying each one plays a part and each one should acknowledge that! I'm so tired of people assigning blame to everyone but themselves! Grow up! Take responsibility for your choices! Grown up adults cannot be forced to do certain things, you ultimately always have choice! Always! So choose and choose wisely!

And once the choice has been made, take responsibility for it! Whether you're a woman or a man, you have the ability and faculties to make up your mind soundly. So the next time you take any decisions, think through them and be ready to live up to what comes with the you choice make because let's face it, you're grown up!!! So be grown up!

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Because Love Is Truth!!!

I am currently reading Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's 'The thing around your neck' and boy, oh boy this woman is something else. Her story writing skills are totally outstanding and so captivating.

Anyway so the first story I read is 'Cell': about this young man who takes to thieving but whose mother constantly shields him from taking responsibility for his actions. Even when he ends up behind bars albeit for something different, his Mummy is still there to shield him.

It got me thinking though, at how often people think they're protecting you from the world by not confronting your bad habits. i mean, for something like theft, what is there to think about? It would hurt to confront it but it must be done for the sake of the person's betterment.

You cannot claim to love anyone too much to tell them the truth! That is very selfish and doesn't quite qualify as love because love will correct you hoping to make you a better person.

In the story, every time this young man was involved in one of those incidents it was obvious to his family that he had done it. However, there wasn't any obvious step made towards confronting the matter at hand. Instead, silence followed the incident and everyone expected it to go away as a result. But it never does go away though, does it?

When people that we love do things that they shouldn't be doing- read infringing on other people's freedoms or being disrespectful of people's property, we ought to speak up. Not behind their backs but directly to their faces. We need to give them a chance to choose to change because the habit developed is unbecoming as compared to being like the ostrich that believes covering it's head in the sand protects it from danger!

Love is truth! Love people enough to tell them the truth because many times, their life actually depends on it!