Saturday, October 24, 2015

The Fight Within

My flesh, oh my flesh! Why dost thou plague me!
There are days that my flesh goes on rampage and I mean RAMPAGE!!! On those days my flesh is convinced that it knows what’s best for me and overrides my mind. When the things my body feels flood my mind, it takes it upon itself to derive possible ways that my flesh can be satisfied.
For the record, I am saved.
The voices in my head push me to a place of indulgence and try as I may, I cannot seem to overcome this. Paul is so accurate when he says we are tempted by our own evil desires. A lot of that temptation comes from a secret place in my mind where a lot of evil desires are stashed. Desires that I cannot even admit to myself.
I have started to realise that all the times I have fallen, it’s been because I feel like superwoman.
“I’m too big for my body too control me. Temptation is for the weak!”
(Insert laughing emoji). I am not strong! I am so weak and frail! I do not have the strength to overcome any temptation! The more I try in my own strength, the harder I fall.
On days like this, I have discovered, there is someone greater, stronger and willing to help me. I just need to ask and surrender it to Him.
The one day that I asked the Spirit of God to help me, I knew I had struck gold! I did not know how to but by the grace of God, I relinquished all control or the illusion of it to Him and man, He helped me. He held my hand and walked me through it.
He reminded me how His strength is made perfect in my weakness. How He will never leave me nor forsake me. He reminded me of how rewarding it is to trust and walk with Jesus one day at a time. To have a high Priest who understands my struggles and intercedes for me. I’m telling you, it is a beautiful thing to know that God is looking out for you, all you need to do is learn to trust and be surrendered to Him.
Does my flesh still plague me despite this revelation, yes! But now, I don’t have to fight on my own. My dear friend helps me though it!

Thursday, October 22, 2015

About Guardian Angels

This post is about a very special someone who has proved on more than one occasion to be a shoulder I can lean on with no judgement.
Life has a way of causing our paths to cross with some of the most amazing and definitely also fake people. Today I write about someone who keeps teaching me, without even trying, the value of a friend. I won’t be so bold as to call him my best-friend so I’ll stick with guardian angel.
I don’t know if you’ve ever had seasons where you don’t seem to understand yourself and you hardly would blame people for steering clear of you. Sometimes you even make it easier and stay away from them so they won’t have to feel obligated to carry your burden.
Yeah. I know. That’s some very deep emotional ish. I have had seasons like that.
See I’m not a crier and I’m not a person who looks for sympathy either. I have taught myself over the years to look out for me and deal with myself without necessarily drawing anyone in. So, one day a few years back, I met this gorgeous man. My intention was to learn about a particular field of interest from him and yes, I did learn and I still am learning about it.
What beat me though, was how I comfortable I was around him. I’ve had more than one season where he has allowed to hold my hand. Seasons that under normal circumstances would drive one to the point of insanity. Today, it hit me hard. He has no obligation whatsoever to me. Nothing ties him to me. Yet he has stayed and been kind, helpful, thoughtful and caring.
Of course I have not done a single thing to deserve that. So today I celebrate my very own guardian angel. I won’t mention his name cuz I’m selfish like that but when you do read this my dear guardian angel, know this:
I appreciate you. I applaud your kindness. I know I can never repay you but I pray that this token will be somewhat of a thank you. I dig you and I am so very glad that God caused our paths to cross. I drink to your health, wealth, success- if you may and to many more blessings for you!!!

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

I am a FEMINIST!!!

“What is your obsession with women? It’s like every conversation with you involves women empowerment or something women-related. Breathe madam, breathe!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at how accurate a description of me this was. I just did not agree with the way he made it sound so insufferable.

I am very passionate about women and helping them discover who they are (definitely within the confines of God’s word). I believe that a woman who knows what she’s about is an invaluable treasure to humanity and can literally hold the world together. I believe women must know who they are to be able to grasp such a thing as a beautiful world.

Don’t get it twisted. I am no man-hater. Heck, majority of my friends are men. I am that kind of ‘feminist’ who believes that the world needs both men and women. Yes, that feminist who believes that women only need to discover and be comfortable with who they are to co-exist with men. I don’t believe in the battle of the sexes, that’s a fallacy. Selfishness if you may. Who are we trying to prove what to?

Woman was never meant to compete with man and vise versa but rather to work together and have dominion. Our gender greed has subdivided what would be dynamite into the insecure egotistic male and the insecure over controlling female. For both these extremes, middle ground can never be found as one will always blame the other for what’s not right in society.

I don’t believe there are sides just roles and responsibilities.

Being a woman is a very powerful thing that a lot of people have belittled consequently causing the divide in our world. I am confidently proud in my femininity but I need men. Men to work with. Men to talk to. Men to love. Men to mentor my future sons and daughters. Even men to love me- more like one man though. I’m not polyandrous!

However, men must take responsibility for who they are. That’s the only way this kind of feminism works. A woman confident in who she is needs a man who knows what he’s about or else we’ll have another case of the bossy woman and the cowardly man. Or pity love (where one feels obligated to love the other out of pity). Now that, would totally suck!

So I do love women enough not to let them believe the lie of existence without men nor the stereotype that all men are dogs. I am passionate to see a world where women grow and mentor other women to be confident in who they are, know what they deserve and not settle for anything less than that. Where there is injustice I believe justice must be pursued not abused. So, I toast to a world of co-existance!

Monday, October 19, 2015

Dream on!!!

I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself – Rita Mae Brown
Too many times I have not been content with who I am physically, emotionally and mentally. I have allowed people to make me feel less than I am because of who they thought I should have been at that moment. I have let myself believe that I need to fit in- conform to the statusquo and I can assure you that’s an extremely miserable place to be. Despite similarities in culture, temperaments, character, upbringing and education, each of us are uniquely different. God did not create many copies of the same thing.
Many times we question our ability to do things and listen to negativity so much that we drop our dreams altogether. Negativity should never be the reason you give up your dream.
Don’t get me wrong, criticism is very important but never allow anyone’s opinion of your dream to be the reason why you quit. In that moment of course that negativity is hurtful but don’t make any life altering decisions in the heat of the moment. Cool down and analyse what was said, take what you need and discard what you don’t. That means if the negatives hold water, don't discard them. Swallow that bitter pill, it will help you.
No one said pursuing your dream would be easy. On the contrary, it will be hard and some days will be worse than others but you have to remember what comes easy, usually goes easy. What you toil for, you value highly. So no matter how hard it gets, you’ve got to hang in there and keep at it. Keep your eyes on the prize: where you’re going Vs where you are.
Is it scary? Very much so but it really is up to you whether you stay paralysed because of fear or rise above it. And the latter is always better. Acknowledge that whatever dream you have; God has equipped you to accomplish it. Only have faith and follow His lead.
So don’t go conforming to the standard set by your peers. Stand out and surpass their standard. Don’t look down upon yourself because of your physical or financial limitations but pursue that dream knowing that your diligence will open the necessary doors for you.
Every time you’re knocked down, get right back up. Don’t sulk about how many times you fall. Simply rise up again. No pity parties my dear. Find people who understand your journey because you will need them to support you. Find mentors to hold your hand and cheer you on. People who will tell you the hard truths without being too afraid.
Hold on to that dream! Pursue it and do not give up!

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Girl, go get you a husband!!!

I’ve always wondered what the direct opposite of ruthless is because I have encountered a woman who I would classify as Ruthful!

Today I was reading the book of Ruth whose testimony is summarized in 4 chapters and I was amazed at this young Moabite woman. She was made a wife by a young Israelite man when his family settled in Moab. I imagine she must have been quite the looker to have caught his eye and the envy of many of her peers to have gotten ‘wifed up’ by a man who belonged to the chosen nation. It must have been a dream come true because let’s face it, many young women dream of the day they’ll get married, have a home of their own and beautiful babies to crown it all. So with the first step in that direction out of the way, her expectation must have increased.

Unfortunately, her husband died. So did his Father and brother. Leaving her broken and confused and crushed. She grieved with Naomi and her sister in law who both were dealing with his trauma.
Seeing as she had lost everything, Naomi- Ruth’s mother-in-law decided to go back to Israel. She blessed her daughters-in-law sending them on their way. She acknowledged that they were young, had their whole lives ahead of them and would not fail to re-marry.

Ruth clung to Naomi (1:14,15) saying (in Vs. 16) “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God. 17 Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May God punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!”

I believe Ruth meant every word she said and it comforted Naomi to know that at least one person was unwavering in her loyalty toward her.

When they reached Bethlehem, Naomi’s hometown, she hatched a delicate plan to hook Ruth up with Boaz (Elimelech’s relative) and redeem her family so Ruth would have a permanent home. (Chapters 2&3). Ruth obediently followed Naomi’s plan to the letter. However outside of the plan, the people of the town had great respect for this woman from Moab who was unwavering in her loyalty towards Naomi. So much that when Ruth lay at Boaz feet (3:9-11), his testimony of her was “…for everyone in the village knows you are a virtuous woman.”

She was not lacking in virtue, nor humility, kindness and character. Despite being a nobody from Moab, Ruth won the hearts of the town people who spoke about her at the village wells. This woman who was not part of God’s chosen people, believed this God (1:16) without even knowing who He was and He honoured her far beyond her expectation. He gave her a home, a husband, and a son (4:13) who became the Father of Jesse and the grandfather of King David.

And so many years later, God’s only begotten Son, Jesus Christ was a direct descendant of Ruth and Boaz. If that’s not honour, then I surely do not know what is.

My lessons from Ruth:
  1. -          Your faith attracts God’s grace and causes Him to act on your behalf
  2. -          Your character is the channel God uses to honour and elevate you
  3. -          Grace will open doors to places but only your character will sustain you there. 

Tuesday, February 24, 2015


The valley of decision is quite the place to be. It can be very irritating and yet very hilarious at the same time. Lately I have found myself at such a place where the crossroads are so extreme that whichever route I choose to take leaves a permanent impression on me psychologically. Heck even emotionally, it has taken its toll on me.

It is in this valley of decision that I have met the most selfish elements of people I hardly expected and the most loving elements still of people I have not expected. I have watched people who thought my life depended on them dwindle into hardly the dusty residue of a high speed car on life’s freeway. I have equally watched people who were just but a speck graduate into such amazing sources of support that cannot be neglected.

I would like to believe that life is made up of three kinds of people. Those who impact you, those you impact and those who waste your time. Every category has the right to exist right where they are in regard to you as a person and each category is useful. However, one has to learn where to strike the balance between who they impact, who impacts them and who does not necessarily make a difference.

I fear that I have gotten to the point where the people who do not make a difference, I have to literally push to the side and ignore them because in this valley of decision, they are the cause of unnecessary stress. Yes, I totally mean that.
Obviously people will have opinions but I reserve the right to take what is important and discard whatever else does not build me.

If there is one thing I am grateful for though, it is the companionship of the Spirit of God. For every time people have decided to be fake and selfish, he has been super cool and selfless. Oh yes He has and has made it even so much easier for me to trust Him and His will and wait for those who He has deemed relevant to my season.

I believe that every single amazing person has not found their way into my life by chance but by the guidance and leadership of the Spirit of God. So while I may say this season has shown me the hearts of man, it has also shown me a gracious God who uses men to bless men. I have encountered God in people in the most powerful of ways and I have come to the realization that man is extremely frail and powerless. I have also come to the realization that man wielded to the will of God is unstoppable and able to do pretty much all things through Christ who strengthens us.

If you ever find yourself in the valley of decision, don’t be moved by the storm but be confident that the God you serve, He’s saved people before and He will not let you die in your movie. Cheers!!!


This Sunday I visited at a Church which is not my regular Church to fellowship with them. It was, different like really different. Religion and faith aside it was different.
The sermon was superb with the preacher talking about divine visitation, why and how it happens then he summed it up with intercession for our nation that God would visit our institutions. It was well delivered and he kept time which is a big issue for me.

Anyhow, before offertory time the choir did a rendition of Detrick Haddon’s Amen and boy or boy, my ears were under prepared for what then ensued. It was brutal, brutal, brutal like literally speaking. The female tenor pitched not sang through the song. The soprano was too soft, the alto guy was too loud and the instruments were double loud. So the lead singer had to shout to out compete the instruments and I was seated near one of the speakers.

The shocker for me was that there were no monitors near the choir so they by no means could have guessed what they sounded like but even more I looked around and I seemed to be the only uncomfortable person in the place. Everyone else was enjoying or not minding the performance. The people in the sound booth seemed unbothered by the volume levels of the different things happening. It was really strange for me.

So I had service, finished, moved out but the performance kept bellowing in my head like woaah! I am still asking myself what, how? And its not that I expected to hear Detrick himself but I atleast would have hoped to hear something neat and practiced. I am not in any way saying they did not practice the song because I am sure a lot of time and effort was put into preparation for the special but mayne no! they could have and should have done better.

I’m pretty sure that practice cannot have sounded much different from what was delivered but was it that they were super excited about the song or that that’s usually how it is?
I really sometimes wish that as the body of Christ we could aspire to greater things because really, if some unsaved person that is crazy about music passed by during the performance, they would not have thought twice about continuing to where they were going.

We have been gifted tremendously in this Kingdom of God but we need to step up and steward our gifting accordingly. The singer can have vocal training or just do their own vocal exercise though its more motivating as a team. The team leaders (read music directors) should determine what the choir can do and what they cannot do. If the song has not been nailed at practice, the performance won’t just magically become good. Choose another song better suited to the choir’s level of vocal maturity and be wise about which back-ups stand on the microphones.

Find out individual singers’ strengths and weaknesses and place them strategically on the team for a full, beautiful sound. Not every singer can lead a song and not every singer can back up especially not if they have not had the necessary training as a singer. Every singer has a different vocal range and vocal maturity and should therefore be helped accordingly and placed strategically.
But hey, that’s just what I think. Have a beautiful week people!