Thursday, May 26, 2016

Poser Bloggers!!!

Apparently bloggers are posers! Imagine my amusement on hearing this from a person who did not know that I somehow humbly feature in that category of people! It was just hillarious! Unbelievable even!!!

It made me wonder what the deal is though? Why is this particular 'group' of people labelled so and is it not just another case of stereotyping?

So I asked what they would say if me in the event that somehow I belong to this category of people.

"There's no way in hell you can be a blogger!" so he retorted!

Hehehehe, I of course couldn't control my urge to laugh.

There's no point in stereotyping people because one way or the other, stereotypes are never completely accurate. They just prey on the small sample space that is classified as statistics which more often than not are based on not so significant interaction.

That is not to say people should not have opinions, just that they should not throw every one under the bus of generalisation because they heard from someone about a thing. Keep an open mind, people will surprise you when you get to know them as individuals outside of your 'mental expectation.'

Don't lock your very capable mind down and close yourself up to what would otherwise be beautiful. Life is short, it's for living and most definitely for loving! Enjoy it while it lasts!!! Don't stereotype!!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Isn't Freedom of speech overrated?!

Someone I'm getting to know, read my blog post yesterday and we started to talk. He asked the question:

"Isn't freedom of speech overrated?"

I had no direct answer to the question because on the one end, I agreed with him but on the other, we entirely disagreed. It always amazes me when there's not one particular answer to a thing. 

One blogger this week- Daudi wrote about being respectful in our expression of such a freedom. It causes me to wonder though, is it possible for one to use their freedom of speech and yet be sensitive to how it affects the people around them? Would this need for sensitivity 'jeopardise' the effectiveness of the expression of their opinion?

I mean, like in recent days, the one lecturer who decided to strip so her voice could be heard. If she had not stripped, would she have gotten the kind of attention she though her plea deserved? But also, if she had been civil about it, would she not have been heard?

We can argue to the effect of each hypothetical response to an issue being the fastest and most effective way to resolve it and may not even find any kind of middle ground. Does this then mean that every situation warants the one response and not the other?

Which would take us back to the question, Isn't freedom of speech overrated?

Is absolute freedom necessary in as far as opinions and expression of them is concerned?

Should or shouldn't there be some kind of moderation? And where is the line drawn between moderation and the extremism of dictatorship?

Should people seek to express themselves in a civil way or does it not matter as long as the point is driven home? Is civility overrated? Has the human race been liberated way beyond those small irrelevant chains or are we taking this personal freedom things way to far?

Selah...


It's not personal!

I know yesterday I wrote about people and their emotions but I wonder, is there some sort of middle ground for freedom of expression. 

Can we actually compromise on personal opinion to accommodate another? Is it possible to choose to listen without bias to what differs from us?

One of my most enjoyable moments is in the gist of debating an ideology with someone who feels entirely different about it. Of course, it quickly bores me when they think I’m trying to put them down and start offending me. 

It quickly goes from enjoyable to “I don’t believe how immature you are being right now!”

I think we’ve all had those awkward moments before, sometimes with us at the offensive end of the spectrum.

So, I’ll suggest a few reasons why you shouldn’t take things too personal when caught in the midst of a free idea-sharing moment.

When I was growing up, in my teenage years actually, my big brother told me a huge secret; he said

“Learn to separate the person from the situation!”

A very valuable lesson that has influenced all my relationships since! The ability to realize that your relationship with whoever is not hinged on differing opinions is a true mark of maturity! That right there is the first way not to take things too personal.

Realise that other people’s rudeness is not about you. Some times people lash out because they’re hurt and what they say really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them!

Ask yourself what else the comment or behaviour might mean. Did you hear what they said or you heard what you wanted to hear? Yep, it happens to the best of us. Many times we take offense because we got lost in translation. If they criticize you take it easy. Pick what builds you and discard what does not.

Always believe the best of people. Once you start there, even when people are crappy about nothing, you’ll see past their strange behavior.

Also don’t kill yourself about the fact that you can’t please everyone. Get over the addiction to be a people pleaser by realizing that no matter what you do, they’ll always be someone to disagree with you.

You’re not perfect. It’s possible to work towards perfection- it is the higher mark but you ultimately will not ever be perfect so get over it too.

You are not defined by your mistakes. You are who you think and believe you are. You are not defined by other people’s opinion of who you are.

I reckon that once you get past all the above, it will be much easier to not take things too personal.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Difference of Opinion?



I woke up to the reality of #UgBlogWeek being here again and I’m super excited. This quarter tackles Freedom of expression. How cool is that?

This ‘freedom’ that has recently proved elusive to us as a Country!

I often wonder what is so scary about a difference of opinion that causes such a bizarre reaction as to shut down the whole of social media. I mean, even without being too political about anything, by virtue of our individuality as human beings, no two people can agree on all things all the time!

That’s entirely impossible! Not even identical twins, with the same DNA will share similar opinions on all matters concerning life. So, why do people take it so personal when you have a difference of opinion?

Is it that they consider it an attack on their intellect or is it just some kind of unmatched human insecurity? The notion of rejection because one’s opinion has not been received with open arms!

I really am just speculating based on my innocent observations of human interaction.

I know people who will walk away from a perfectly good friendship because of the constant difference of opinion between them and the other person. So much that they launch an image-tainting campaign against the other. But all for what?!

Protection of opinion; really?! Opinion which is so fickle and prone to change cannot be the validation for such unbecoming behavior!

It really is simple, I think. If people can just realize that unless otherwise, people mean no disrespect in airing their thoughts, we’ll make a big leap in the right direction concerning human relationships.

One’s demeanor in receiving criticism of their opinion will set the tone for pretty much all their interactions in life; be it personal, business, casual or whichever else and let’s face it, no one likes a person who takes things too personal!

So, do you have a difference of opinion with anyone? Most probably, yes! Man up, put on your big boy panties and stop being such a brat about it!



Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Contractual Friends!

Human beings sometimes make for the vilest of creatures! their behaviour can be entirely appaling and unbecoming especially when they go back on common courtesy.

It always frustrates me when people say one thing and do another. I've never been able to understand how someone will give you their word and go back on it. Is it not easier to just not give your word in the firdt place?

How can the one thing that defines a person(read- their word) be the thing they don't mind playing around with. I mean let's face it; you're only as good as your word. If you're not planning to follow through on it, don't commit.

I recently worked with someone who came highly reccommended by a friend. He needed a service I could provide and I rendered it at a fee.I thought because this person seems of sound character, I'd accepet half payment and receive the rest later.

Anyway, so it's been the longest time and there's been no sort of communication from him. So i decided to call him to inquire on what was on ground.

You will not believe how arrogant he was on the matter, telling me how he doesn't communicate to people unnecessarily! Can you believe that?! Unnecessarily!!! My pay issue is unnecessary communication to him! I'm just so baffled right now, I can't even process that kind of mindless arrogance!!!

Anyway, no more friendly business; only contractual whether I know your parents or whatever! Only contractual. Been burnt too many times, it's about time I take it for what it is; human beings suck and they're not about to change!!!

End of rant!!!

Monday, May 16, 2016

What's Your Story?



It is so easy for people to despise their story as no big deal.

I have realized that most times people are very evasive about their background. I don’t really know why. 

Sometimes, their past is painful and they did not deal with the pain while it was there. They just buried it and supposed that’s all there was to it and ‘moved on.’

Of course that’s not how you deal with pain. It must be confronted head on and felt! As unthinkable as it is, there really is no way around pain. It may be a heart-break, loss of a loved one, loss of a business, even the loss of a pet.

No situation in life is too small to impact a person. Every encounter reflects on our opinions, perspective even the way we will react to our environment.

Pain varies from person to person depending on one’s threshold –which has a lot to do with how they handled pain before.

Of course a lot of people will play the victim and have a pity party that lasts forever because life is so unfair. 
What they don’t realize is we’ve all been dealt a hard hand one way or the other so get off your butt and live life.

Every single story is important enough to be told. You never know whose life will be impacted by your story until you brave it up and let it out of that place in your heart where you hid it.

Don’t despise your story because it is more important than you think it is. Let it out, and change the world. Make your mark- your footprint if you please.

Friday, May 13, 2016

The Book Tag Challenge!



Because the last time she tagged me I took so long to make good on the tag, I’m totally working on this one immediately. Of course many thanks to the amazing Karen for tagging me on this challenge; Let’s get into it and see where it takes us, no?

The rules are as follows;
1. Thank and link the person who tagged you.
2. Answer the questions asked.
3. Tag other 10 bloggers to do same .

READING ON THE COUCH OR THE BED?
I would definitely read on the couch unless it was just for just. Reading on my bed quickly tires my back which makes me constantly have to change my position and sooner than later sends me to sleep. So, the couch it is!

MAIN MALE CHARACTER OR FEMALE MAIN CHARACTER?
I guess it depends on how hot the main character is…lol. How dangerous, edgy, involved, kick-assy and all. My main disposition is hot male main characters but I don’t mind the females at all. I always fall back on the plot vs the character’s looks anyway so I guess it may not be that big a deal, or is it? Hehehehe!

SWEET SNACKS OR SALTY SNACKS?
Sweet tooth here! I love sweets that are not too sugary. Dark chocolate- Bournville(how heavenly)- I hope my friends are reading this so they don’t struggle with what to buy next time. I’d pick sweet over salty most days unless there’s pizza involved then it becomes a whole other story.

TRILOGIES OR QUARTETS?
I don’t mind really as long as the writer is awesome and the plot is sober. I rather like continuations though!

FIRST PERSON POINT OF VIEW OR THIRD PERSON POINT OF VIEW?
Hahahaha; first person by all means. I find it rather queer when people refer to themselves in third person. I (first person) chose this any day. I treasure my opinion so I wouldn’t sell myself short by giving credit to some imaginary form of myself… lol.

READING AT NIGHT OR IN THE MORNING?
Reading in the morning reminds me of morning prep yo! I would not subject myself to that madness- no offense. My preference is reading in the night not for any reasons in particular though; it’s just me. I have to time myself though so I don’t lose track of time which often happens when I’m reading.

LIBRARIES OR BOOKSTORES?
How about we wed them lol. I would pick a well stocked library over a book store any day because I can borrow the book and read it. When I grow up though, I may change my preference but for now, I’ll pick the library.

BOOKS THAT MAKE YOU CRY OR LAUGH?
Cry? Tears don’t come too easy for me; it may tug at my emotions but most likely won’t make me cry… I love a good laugh and admire writers who pull off humour effortlessly.

BLACK BOOK COVERS OR WHITE BOOK COVERS?
Hahahaha, white book covers!

CHARACTER DRIVEN STORY OR PLOT DRIVEN STORY?
Most definitely, plot driven stories!

Now to nominate the cool blogger friends I have
1.       BenjaahEdwards- you are my first choice this time.
2.    JoMutebe -there was no way you were surviving this.
3.       Nevender- because I love your writing style and enjoy reading your work
4.       Vickie; I know I would love to hear your mind
5.       Ninno- you never say much about yourself in your blogs
6.       Hawt- my personal deejay hehehehe