Tuesday, January 2, 2018

It's been too long

I thought about what I would use as a title for this blog post but well, all I can say is it has been too long.

2017 had me in all sorts of weird places emotionally, mentally and all that but also to be very honest, I was just spread too thin! For a long time, writing was one of those things I did for the love of it. But as it turns out, do a thing so long and you'll become good at it. I think (breaks into laugh).

I shall rephrase; do a thing long enough, learn to take criticism for it and learn as much as you can to better yourself at doing it. And the more you do the above, the better you become at it.

I suppose you have to love it to be willing to better yourself at doing it. For instance, my love for words supercedes my understanding of them. I first stumbled into a library when I was about 7nhalf going on eight. I had read Peter and Jane growing up and I loved it. So walking into this library, I went around very fascinated by these volumes of words contained in books and that's when I landed on 'A tale of two cities by Charles Dickens.'

I thought I would just try it out and if it didn't work out, I would move right on to my picture laden pages of story books. But I loved it! For the next two days I lived and breathed this bunch of words soaking them in like the dry sponge in water. I could not bring myself to put the book down. A nd so started my expedition towards words and reading them.

Over the next few years, I started to write my own stories- many of which have not seen the light of day. But write I did, and read some more I did!

So I am hoping to balance out this reading and writing thing this year even as I grow in both aspects! And of course to balance my time with these many little and major things that I hope to do! So here's to a year of more reading and writing!

Let's go 2018!

Saturday, July 29, 2017

All of your heart.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path.

I recently have been reading ‘Boy meets Girl’ by Joshua Harris- a book on Courtship and all that. Seated in a taxi this morning, I came to the end of this book that has been my travel companion for the last couple of days(mainly the past week really). So at the end of the book, the writer goes ahead to explain his reasons for writing and lo and behold; it didn’t have very much to do with helping you find the love of your life and all that. He hoped that by reading the book, we’d be drawn to a more intimate relationship with God!

He quoted Prov 3:3-5;

Alighting from the taxi, all that occupied my mind was this portion of scripture. Memory upon memory flooded my mind! When I was a child, we sang it as a song in Sunday school and the more I thought, the more things that occurred to me to think about!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

When I thought of these words, I then had to ask myself what their implied meaning was. If it says trust in the Lord with ALL YOUR HEART does it infer that trust can come from only part of the heart? Does it mean that we can trust with only a part of us- not fully/ entirely? And if we can, does that count as trust?

I quickly thought of so many instances where I trust God at my convenience! It made me think of parts of my life where ‘IT’S SIMPLY NONE OF GOD’S BUSINESS!’ I may not come outright and say that, however my actions do!

I will quickly and readily trust Him with my relationship with HIM but there are things that I like to do by myself and not ‘bother Him’ because ‘I gat this!’ So in reality, I trust Him with only part of my heart.

The scripture continues to say, and lean not on your own understanding! Trust in God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. I don’t think these are random words put together. I would like to think this choice of words is intentional! To trust in God with all your heart, means your own understanding MUST make it’s way out of the equation! Your understanding has to give way to this full trust in God. In other words, you don’t lean on your ability to comprehend (use your mental capacity to decipher) the will of God but rather you trust where or what He has called you to in whichever season of your life!

In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path! I am literally squealing in delight at this part. All of it just comes together so beautifully. It is interwoven into the most fundamental of requirements for us as children of God. When you trust God with all your heart and not lean on your understanding but instead acknowledge Him, He by default will direct your path! That right there is His response to this kind of faith in His character!

Maybe let’s define this word acknowledge. To acknowledge is a verb- a doing word!

verb: 1. Accept or admit the existence or truth of.
admit, accept, grant, allow, concede, accede to, confess, own, recognize
reject, deny

2. (of a body of opinion) recognize the fact or importance or quality of
So, to acknowledge God in all our ways would mean we accept the existence or truth of who God is and recognize His importance(key phrase being in all our ways). I’ll just let that sink in for a bit.

In every single one of our doings or our attempt at doings, we MUST accept the importance of God. That means accept His will and what He requires of us (which by the way is all stipulated in His word)!

When we have done all the above, God then directs our footsteps. Only when we have fulfilled the requirements or prerequisite of the blessing (of direction by God), do we create atmosphere/environment for Him to come and direct our affairs!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Do people change?

Someone recently told me that I had changed- I had become another person. Lol! I did not try and argue with them or anything like that- I just tried to understand where they were coming from. on an ordinary day, I am quite the ball of energy. I love life way to much to be stressed out or grumpy! I enjoy the thrill of the unknown and dispelling mental filters so I constantly go out of my way to do things that other people are too careful to do.

I don't mean the illegal stuff- just the challenging stuff.

I digress! I don't think I've changed; however I'm open to the school of thought that my response to certain things has changed. For instance, I have no expectations of people. I don't mean I have low expectations, I mean I don't obligate anyone to do anything for me. I appreciate my friendships and all but I will not take offense because someone does not do what I would under normal circumstances expect them to.

But again, maybe that's how I have changed. I seem to give off the 'I don't care' vibe. Don't get me wrong, I care but not about the things that people ordinarily care about! I care more about bettering myself than changing people to benefit me. Of course I have my days when I want things done a certain way by people to my benefit but most days, I'm very able to cover all my bases.

I love to help people as and when they think it's necessary- in every way possible. As to whether they accept the help or not, is entirely up to them. So, I have to ask what your take is on this whole people changing thing. Do people change or is change just a perception of different from usual response to the same stimuli?

I throw it to you!

Thursday, January 26, 2017

You are worth your time!

Sometimes LIFE CAN BE SO BUSY! And it just keeps getting busier! You find yourself running from one appointment to another never really finding time to stop. You wake up and even before your feet touch the ground, you're in go-mode! As your day progresses, the calls just keep coming in and it's one thing after another.

Life can prove entirely busy and time-consuming. But we have all come to embrace life as so. If it's not the job it's friends or social media or ministry or family or television. Our lives are so full of events that just keep going we just have to be deliberate and stop.

I find that too many people are moving through life fatigued and cranky because they barely get enough rest. No, I don't mean sleep but rest. They just have not taken time off to shut everything out and breathe for a moment.

Unfortunately I used to be one of those people who was always feeling tired, spent, fatigued- and many times I find myself slipping back into it- but I have learnt to be more deliberate about my time. I have learnt that I am worth the investment that I give to other things in my life. And I have learnt that I am as important as the things I often prioritise over myself.

I have learnt to invest in me- and I don't mean the left over time when I'm tired and out of it. I mean productive time when I can just sit and think through life, re-invent myself and spend time exploring my dreams, passions, ambitions and aligning them to fit into my time.

You are worth your time!  You are worth your productive time! You are worth the time when you are alert and can make sense of the things you want to do with your life! Invest in yourself because you are worth it!

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

What a year!

2016! What a year! It really has been quite the year! I can hardly remember what occupied my mind at the beginning but I honestly did not have very much faith that this year would end. It seemed like a vast ocean with me as the one grain of sand at the shore- lost among other grains and afraid to be swallowed by the ocean.

It however has been a season of great introspection and meditation. A season of healing, restoration, learning to let go and to live by myself! A season of appreciating the awesome person I am and aligning myself to my calling. Trying to understand the purpose of my existence on earth and what I have to bring to the table of life.

I have learned to appreciate the life I have and to live it to the fullest! I have learned that I have been gifted with everything I need pertaining to life.

I’ll admit that I have made a lot of learning errors- many of them not too far away in the past but in spite of it all, I am learning. I have challenged the statusquo in seeking to understand why I believe what I believe. That right there has been one of my greatest challenges- to listen with understanding to opinions different from mine without putting myself in the place of supreme judge.

I have sought to understand the consequences of decisions I have made. Their implications on family, friends and I. Like Paul says, everything is permissible but not all things are beneficial. I have cut out a lot of people and things but I have also embraced a lot of new people and things. For everything I have let go of, it has been replaced with better and more relevant things- and people of course!

I have learned that my life and my decisions are my business and despite what happens, I should be ready to take utmost responsibility for myself.

Most of all I have learned that human beings are frail and will betray you whenever the chance avails itself. But instead of be angry about it, just understand that as unworthy as people are of your trust, give them the benefit of doubt. Be slow to judge, slow to react and always seek to preserve the relationship. Despite how much people change, always be true to who you are because in the end, you are responsible for you!!!

A toast to the year that has been!

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Cut your cloth according to your coat!

Weddings! The more of them I attend, the more I want to attend yet the less impressive they are. When I was younger it was such a big deal for guys to splash money on weddings and leave you talking but when I grew up I started to understand that a lot of the people who splashed money did not even have it.


A lot of them put people on pressure to contribute towards their wedding and don’t even have the half of it. how absurd is that?

I almost got married last year and it helped me to go through the rigour of wedding meetings and what it means for two people to show up for a meeting that you expected maybe at least 20 of the people who claim to be your friends to attend. It quickly taught me that no one is under any obligation to contribute towards your wedding let alone attend your fund-raising meetings.

Sadly though, I don’t think many people know this. They make their plans around other people’s money. It could be that they expect everyone to be happy for them and contribute towards their event or maybe they are just as naïve as I was in that season.

I quickly learned that the modest thing is to start saving up towards a wedding- if it features anywhere in your future plans. In the event that you think you will get married even in the far future, start putting money aside regardless of how little it is. Those small amounts of money can start you up when you put your plans into motion.

It’s a bit weird for the couple to be unable to even pay off something as small as the venue they use for wedding meetings. It quickly discourages the people who attend the meetings who begin to consider the couple unserious.

It could even be things like the bride and grooms personal business- what they intend to wear and all. Buy what you need and always consider the need to constantly adjust your budget. Prioritise what is absolutely necessary like the actual ceremony- the church fee that is.

Some of the possible spending avenues are not set in stone and can be done without. For instance, I don’t see why a couple would be spending 8million on food when they have no idea where they will spend their honeymoon. I mean, what is the priority here? Would you not rather have a proper plan for the consummation of your marriage than spend yourself out only to have loans to clear?

Obviously we all have different priorities but honestly speaking, the wedding reception is one afternoon or evening- what remains after that is your cross to bear as a couple. So, in all your choosing and prioritizing, be wise. Learn from other people’s lessons and cut your cloth according to your coat!

To argue or walk away! That is the question!

Opinions will one day be the death of people. 

*This is where I laugh out loud.*

It’s really amazing how people feel entitled to counter another’s opinion. It would seem like they had one but never had the balls to put it out there! Now that someone else has, they feel obligated to express themselves in that regard.

For the sake of clarity, when I say opinion- I mean personal belief formed as a result of ones predispositions.

You know the beautiful thing about life and humanity is that God has given every one of us a brain- which we must be bothered to use. Otherwise it defeats the purpose! The human species- being the most intelligent of all creatures ought to discern when it’s necessary to counter an expressed opinion and when it’s not!

There are things that people believe and it’s honestly none of my business; I would not start arguing with them about it. I’d rather try and understand where they are coming from and why they have formed such beliefs. Based on that, I then either bother to counter or just move on with my life.

It could be the generation we live in, I don’t know. Maybe the constant exposure to social media and the internet has bred information experts who believe what they have to say counts for something. I honestly don’t know.

My point of contention though would be, if you have to shut down what someone believes because you believe the opposite then something is terribly wrong with you. Go back and reconsider how to respond to something that contradicts your opinion.

My upbringing and experiences in life will never be the same as those of anyone. Not even my siblings. Some of predispositions may be the same but ultimately, opinion is particular to the individual; some times it may overlap, sometimes it may not. Either way it’s personal and has been shaped through personal experiences. It therefore doesn't make too much sense to fight about 'personal individually formed thoughts.'

I would say choose your battles wisely. If you feel the need to disagree with someone on what it is they believe, do it civilly but never once think that they are beneath you because what they believe is different from what you believe.

That being said, enjoy your opinions wisely!