Sunday, June 30, 2013


She got married at 15, had her first child at 16, then the other two at 18 and 19years of age respectively. So is the story of Nankya.

Her marriage was arranged so that immediately she finished her primary school education she was married off.
"When I was about to seat for PLE, a certain man came to my parents home in the village and I was asked to serve the visitor. Being my mother’s daughter I had been taught what to do and how to do it and mainly because I was the first girl I used to do a lot of housework. So, over the years I had perfected various skills. After the meal, my parents left me to talk to the man who then told me that he was going to marry me and make me his wife and the mother of his children.
I was really happy because among my peers, I was the first to get married and that brought pride to my family."

Nankya’s happiness however was short-lived as she became a slave to this man’s wants and desires and if she even as much as grumbled about what was required of her, she earned herself a crippling beating. Her complaints, if any, fell on deaf ears to her parents who did not seem to have a different definition of what marriage was or should be.

Within the first year of her marriage, she was a mother who barely knew the basics of motherhood. "When I gave birth, my mother stayed with me at my husband’s home for a week and she took care of both the baby and I upon which she returned to the village and left me to fend for myself. Motherhood is a very hard thing I tell you especially when you don’t have support of your husband. You have to take care of yourself, your child and your husband. On top of that the housework just keeps increasing."

Before she could get the hang of parenting, she was pregnant with their second and consequently third child. At 19, she was a mother of three, two girls and one boy. Her greatest consolation though was the fact that ten out of her fifteen friends were all young mothers like her.

Nankya may have had it rough but things could have been worse. When I asked about the effect of pregnancy on her, she was quick explain how she had mixed emotions.
"I was very happy but scared at one point even confused and frustrated because I was not prepared for it; not emotionally, not even psychologically. I craved things that I could hardly afford and one time my husband even beat me for asking for chocolate."
"Pregnancy is expensive, I needed maternity clothes and yet I could not afford it. So I stuck to wearing a lesu and only using the dress when I was going away from home."

At 15, a young girls pelvis can hardly hold a pregnancy let alone aid the birthing process and therefore girls in that age bracket are prone to a number of health complications. Some of these include obstructed delivery and prolonged labour which in-turn increases the risk of haemmoraging(excessive bleeding), fistula and infection.
Pre-eclampsia(hypertension in pregnancy) is also common in teenage pregnancy. It can progress to extreme hypertension if left unchecked and could lead to death of either the baby, the mother, or both of them.
Also premature birth and still birth are more common in teenage pregnancy than in older women. Infants born to adolescent mothers are more likely to be premature, of low birth weight and to even suffer consequences of retarded fetal growth.

This however is just the tip of the iceberg. Teenage pregnancy needs to be checked. Empower parents, especially those in rural areas, to educate the girl child. Give her a chance to pursue education because she is capable of so much more than just marriage.  The girl child also needs a mind-set change and be encouraged to believe in herself and her capabilities.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's day to all those special men who over the years have not only been fathers to us but also our friends. I have been immensely blessed to be surrounded by powerful men of God who have shielded me, cared for me, been a shoulder, strengthened me and always been there for me. I totally, wholly love you and if there was a way i could repay you for your input in my life, i would quickly and greatfully do that.

It has not been an easy journey this far, infact its been really long but you continue to stand with and by me regardless of my situations. My ability to stand my ground in the face of controversy i surely learned from you. To love God and let Him be the centre of my focus, to let the Word of God be the final authority when foming opinion and a whole bunch of other things.

I can still remember back in the day when Stephen taught me to "separate the person from the situation." I cannot even begin to tell you how much easier my life has been since i learnt that lesson so many years ago. To love people even when we don't see eye-to-eye on certain things. You taught me to forgive and let go which has also been more than valuable a lesson for me.

Nobert Tugume, you surely are a pillar for me. Through my pettiness as a child you nudged me in the right direction, you've even been tough when the need arose. When no one else seemed to get me i knew i had you in my corner, encouraging me forward.

Pastor Jairus and Uncle Peter, you held my hand in my most uncertain of times. Throughout the pregnancy, you all were there for me and i cannot even begin to say how much you covered me entirely, loved and protected me!!!

I might not be able to exhaust it all if i was to get into it but happy father's day to all the amazing men in my life. I love you, i love you, i love you!!!

I may not have had my dad alive(he passed on when i was 5yrs old) but you surely played the part amazingly well.

Thursday, June 13, 2013


Recently alot of my friends have decided to call me mean in regard to my use of sarcasm but those of you who know a thing or two about sarcam agree with me that its an extremely interesting phenomenon. *Whispering; and its so much fun to use when people get what you mean.

I gotta admit sometimes it just happens cuz am real used to it but there are also those instances where the only way you can actually pass on a particular sentiment is by being sarcastic about it. That moment when you say something, that otherwise would have been considered real mean with a smile on your face and a beautiful sarcastic twist, and in the process provide safe landing for your sentiment.

Its real frustrating though when people take everything you say personal. Recently someone confronted me about why i hate them and i really, honestly had no idea what they were talking about until they started to count moments "sarcasm-directed-against them" off their finger tips. And that right there, caught me off-guard.

I would like to think that some things are too harsh to be said the way they are and unfortunately some people are just down-right blunt. I am that type of person; i call it as i see it. No beating about the bush. And more often than not people want you to be honest with them but don't know how to take the honesty when you give it to them. So many times i find myself confused, not sure whether to go ahead say something and risk hurting someone's feelings or just keep quiet about it till someone else mentions it. For instance that moment when one of your girls walks into a room literally looking like she fought her make-up onto her face and everyone is snickering about it. Do you ignore it and laugh about it behind her back or do you find a not very blunt way to tell her?

So the way i see it, its either one or the other and i would take sarcasm any day over bluntness but thats just my opinion.

5ive Wads

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Tribute to time-wasters

Its been such a long time since yours truly sat down to blog and amazingly the time that it occurs to me to do so; am doing exams. Hahaha.

Lately i've been a big spectator of life lol(and if you knew me, you'd know how much work that is for me). My choleric side has only been active in throwing chucks for people and the lovely sanguine in me has continued to be her colourful adorable self.

Over the last few years, i have been exposed to all kinds of people. Some who have improved or rather bettered my perception of certain things and some who have totally not understood a single thing about me. Others have been parasites, who only know how to feed off of me and then there are those that have been down-right time wasters. Today in this post, i pay tribute to the horrible time wasters that have been and continue to be part of my life.

Some of y'all actually know what an unnecessary consumption of time you are and yet somehow deep down i think you just hope i don't realise i don't really need you. Then there's the lot that think they have a right to flood my life with loads of negativity. I really don't understand the need to be so negative about everything. You should by now have realised that nobody likes a negative person(you know the type that walks into the room and you get instant depression). Get over yourself, stop grumbling about life and appreciate the fact that you could have been dead but instead you're very alive.

Anyhow, back to the time-wasters. I applaud you for being such insistent people who add no value to others and don't seem to have a problem with that but y'all really need to style up. When you realise you presence and even absence make no difference in someone's life, get on up and leave. Find someone you can add value to instead of continuing to hang around people who tolerate you.

And those of you who have these elements in your circle, let them go instead of holding them to the hope that maybe one day something can become of what is not cuz that really does not(even in the slightest) make any sense. Stop feeling bad about letting them go because they really need to be let go of so they can learn to stand on their own. Lol

Now i feel like am writing a whole newspaper article so i'm gonna stop here. A moment of silence for time wasters. We love y'all but you really need to grow up and move on to where you can be appreciated.