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Does Femininity = Weakness?

'You are a very strong woman,' she remarked 'So you can easily handle people who try and walk all over you.'

'Um... Okay.' I mumbled trying to internalize her angle of this thing.

Mel had been dealing with a 'disgruntled' male colleague and in the middle of their discourse, she burst into tears. Now, for some people that may be a natural response to frustration and to others, it is just foreign. We ask ourselves questions like 'who cries in public' or go ahead and remember statements like 'never give anyone the satisfaction of seeing your tears'

Recently, my workplace was doing interviews and we posed the generic question; what is your weakness? and it turned out tears were the weakness for a few of the interviewees. Can the strength of God be made perfect in out tears and frustration? I think this article by Mategyero will help answer that question.

1Peter 3:7 says;
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

This is one part of scripture that really just always left me uncomfortable and on the defensive. What the heck was Paul trying to insinuate? My last blog post was about Weakness and in thinking about weakness, I was drawn to that particular scripture among others. 

Unfortunately, the world's perception of weakness, in our era, is not something I would easily or quickly associate with. But reading that scripture and factoring in the era, cultural setting and context, I am in agreement with Paul. 

Two words; weaker and vessel. What does Paul mean by using these words? 

Weaker; (er) is used in comparison. Comparative adjectives are used to compare the difference between two objects they modify. Hence, weaker simply means both vessels are weak but one is 'more weak' in comparison to the other.

Vessel; a person regarded as having or embodying a particular quality. Also, note that both male and female are vessels. Therefore, the woman is a vessel used by God but is more; tender, vulnerable, delicate, feeble, frail, 'human' (all synonyms of weak).

This weaker(ness) may manifest itself emotionally (meaning women are more emotionally aware and expressive) or physically (meaning there are tasks better suited to men because they require a certain amount of physical strength). Are there women who are not very emotionally sensitive, I think so. Are there men who are as emotionally sensitive as women, again I think so.

Paul's charge is for respect, leadership even protection by a husband. He probably addresses marriage because there is no relationship more vulnerable and intimate as a marriage relationship, but also because he is speaking directly to married people.

God has created women emotional, sensitive, delicate, FEMININE and there is absolutely nothing wrong with embracing your feminineness with all its characteristics, that God was very intentional about giving you. As a woman, learn to thrive in your femininity because it is a blessing, it is a gift straight from the heart of God to you. Thrive, my sister! And where you feel weak, guess what His strength is made perfect in your weakness!

To my brothers, be very ware of Paul's charge. Be very intentional in your interactions with women. Define your relationships and conduct yourselves as vessels worthy of the call of manhood. As to what the call of manhood is... Find a helpful article here


Comments

juliete said…
This is amazing. Just one word "weaker" can change the whole perspective of the way we perceive things.
Unknown said…
Great! Had never understood this myself.
Thanks
Jemox said…
"God has created women emotional, sensitive, delicate, FEMININE..." It's interesting that after a number of years at my job, I no longer view myself as emotional, sensitive, and delicate. And after over 10yrs in marriage, I have forgotten what it really means to be feminine. Why? Because at my job, I've found myself immersed in the so called "man's world" that I forget how I ought to behave as an emotional, sensitive, and delicate woman. My role as wife has so blurred the lines between traditional roles and current expectations that I do not remember what it's like to be feminine. So, here I am... My dressing may be feminine, but it's a far cry from how I feel within.
_little.fire said…
Wow Jess this is beautiful. Indeed i shall strive in being a beautiful woman created by him
Unknown said…
In my opinion I think some women want pity because they believe the whole world knows women are emotional. I personally have respect for those women who do not take this as an advantage, and have control over their emotions not to cloud judgment. Jess this is really beautiful though once in the wrong hands maybe miss interpreted
5ive Wads said…
Hahaha, Amayo let me start with your comment. You cannot judge a philosophy by its abuse; there will always be opportunities to abuse things. But just because an opportunity presents itself, does not mean we take it up. Are there people who seek pity using emotions, yes. The same way people do other things and blame their upbringing and all that. At the end of the day, It's important for everyone to take responsibility for their actions (and that said, we shall explore a blog post in that direction lol)

I hear you Jemox, you and I have similar struggles in regard to being feminine and delicate (in a man's world) and that's okay. We still are our Father's daughters. When we have emotional breaks and feel all these things that we don't normally feel, It's okay. We will not shun but rather embrace that which we have been given by our Father. But also, what then do you suppose our response should be to these feelings that occasionally rear their head?

And yes, Juliete our perspectives can really be changed by just one word! Imagine that!
Unknown said…
Beautiful piece Jess, I must say I had never seen that weaker is in comparison to another weak vessel, gives new perspective now and am thinking that men too should be allowed to express vulnerability cause clearly they too have some. Highlights the importance of mutual respect even more!
Unknown said…
I love the article, Jess. Thanks
Unknown said…
Beautiful and enlightening article. I have been supervising a project in Bwindi were the local women constituted most of the unskilled labour on a construction site. They were lifting boulders on their heads and carrying them uphill with children on their backs, thats just one scenario. Anyway 1 or 2 things u said there throw more light. I finished that project convinced that those women are men or sthg more superior even in terms of physical strength. Thanks for sharing ur thoughts. I have said a prayer for them that the men should take their place because when they don't such things happen

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