BEAUTIFUL LIFE

 It's almost Midnight and I find myself with my thoughts in the deadly silence of the night! I wait like the anxious lover for the voice of her dear one. I wait for my Lord. For that gentle soothing whisper that calms all my unfounded fears and establishes me in His love that never falls, never gives up and never runs out on me! Waiting for God is a thing that often eludes me for I tell myself that I am waiting on Him. But you see, I have come to realise that to wait on God simply means to go about my business and expect He will show up and fit in as and when He sees fit. To wait for Him however means like in the words of Moses- paraphrased: "If His presence does not go with me, then I ain't going nowhere". It means staying put even when all within and without is screaming that it's time to move. It is much less convenient for me to wait for as compared to wait on God. For you see, waiting for Him means there must be some sort of deliberate decision to p

To know or be known The mystery surrounding life To expose or be exposed The fear shrouding life To let in or shut out Survive or thrive Or like Shakespeare would say To be or not to be! The intrinsic determinant of character, The assumed knowledge of personality, The anticipation of understanding, Concealed behind the facade of reality: To understand or be understood! To question or be questioned about wherein lies life To be presented with direct or indirect answers Possibilities or impossibilities, Fullness or emptiness, Hope or despair, Faith or fear... Mystery and more mystery lies ahead of you, But faith, love and hope do I pray for you For every mountain: endurance, For every river: perseverance, For every storm: may you learn to dance For every setback may you overcome! May joy be your steady companion, Peace your forerunner and kindness your currency, Let your dreams run wild and ambition help you chase them

Behold the inflation of creation Curled up in a ball Floating on seas inside me A lot less than can be heard Or felt A pebble filled with life; The DNA of the Universe! How absurd The process, The explanation Vs the reality Words do not suffice! Not even science satisfies For the imagination Matches not the sensation. The inflation of individuality Woven with craft unlike any The active ingredient of uniqueness Indestructible Not even two formed side by side Will share it! The anticipation of the realisation Hope bundled with joy Tramps the pulling apart by cravings And mood swings Which seek to tear my soul apart Shredding my will into A zillion little pieces! The longing to hold in my arms; The epitome of existence Shall sustain me. For two hundred and eighty days Is way more baking time Than one can take! It will all be worth it When in my arms I hold The epitome of creation For such is love!

Never in my life have I ever been depressed! Maybe a bit but it all paled in relation to what was happening to me in the season of heartbreak! Naturally I'm not a burden sharer so I couldn't talk about it but I couldn't seem to find any other outlet either! I couldn't write, sing, dance or even work the pain away. I just couldn't do anything about it. My heart was kidnapped by this pain that dominated it. It was there, it was real and it was going nowhere! I just couldn't deal! I called a friend of mine who usually knows what to say when I'm being melodramatic! He listened to what I couldn't say and did the wisest thing ever: he sent me back to God- after praying with me of course. Needless to say, I did not know how to relate with God in my pain and prayer was not really at the top of my list of things to do. Enter the HolySpirit! I decided to try anyway. Honesty, no pretense just plain old honesty! I told God I couldn't deal. I didn'

Great guy number 2 met me at a time when I had really moved on and didn't need a man to validate my existence! I was entirely emancipated! I loved men but not to the point of killing myself about it. I was a single mother pursuing a Bachelors degree in Financial Management! My life was full and busy- the way I like it! I was that kind of young woman that men feared to love because my focus was too damn intense! You needed to be awesome and very focused to stand a chance to break through the bubble of my completeness that surrounded me! But who was I kidding, I was barely Twenty four and life is long, lol. Anyway, so great guy number two broke through and he really wasn't all that focused but he warmed his way into my heart anyway! To say my whole heart belonged to him is a grave understatement because I loved him way more than I loved myself. He stirred up in me the kind of love I didn't know I was capable of. I would have died for him a hundred times over! It wa

Heartbreak can be devastating!!! It can shutter you entirely and also. Some times worse than others depending on how committed you were to making it work or better still, how much of your heart was involved. Growing up, I got involved in so many relationships and most of them did not outlast a fortnight! People always put up an act when you initially meet them or your mind decides what to expect the first time you meet a person. So every time I met the 'real person' I just couldn't deal and the relationship ended. I can only count two real relationships in my life. The first was with the most amazing man I had ever met! I was eighteen, he was twenty six and I was totally into him. I loved him! Anyway, it didn't quite end the ideal way. We didn't get married and have babies... There was no proper closure and I continued to crush on him for almost five years after that! When I got closure though, it was so dramatic how I instantly got over him- which taught

Folly! Sin! Shame! The Genesis of... The slide to the pit Downtrodden! Downward, forward! The illusion of progress masked in footsteps. The further ahead, the lower the sink into depths untold, The arms of profanity wide open luscious with lust, the longing for destiny or destination blurred by the thirst for satisfaction, Parched throats drinking from venom-filled streams of desire The more I drink, the more I'm undone, flames threaten to consume me entirely into a creature I neither desire nor recognize! Could this be it! Could this be all there is?! Cycles of folly entwined in lust?! An unquenchable longing for destruction inscribed on my soul?! Light! Light! How He bursts forth! In armour so bright the Sun would cower, a redeemer of my past did I discover! A deliver so mighty, a worthy contender for my dirt-stained soul He washed me in a blood bath-His own blood shed for me, What wisdom is this that seems so foolish? What kind of l