Monday, June 27, 2016

He will come and save!!!

 It's almost Midnight and I find myself with my thoughts in the deadly silence of the night!

I wait like the anxious lover for the voice of her dear one. I wait for my Lord. For that gentle soothing whisper that calms all my unfounded fears and establishes me in His love that never falls, never gives up and never runs out on me!

Waiting for God is a thing that often eludes me for I tell myself that I am waiting on Him. But you see, I have come to realise that to wait on God simply means to go about my business and expect He will show up and fit in as and when He sees fit.

To wait for Him however means like in the words of Moses- paraphrased: "If His presence does not go with me, then I ain't going nowhere". It means staying put even when all within and without is screaming that it's time to move.

It is much less convenient for me to wait for as compared to wait on God.

For you see, waiting for Him means there must be some sort of deliberate decision to put my plans on hold and fit into His will because I have taken time to hear and know what He is calling me to. Waiting for Him is dependent on the existence of a real, personal and intimate relationship with Him. The kind of intimacy a child enjoys with their Father. Pure, innocent love!

To wait for God means I must choose to trust Him enough to believe He will take good care of the time that I spend in waiting. It means I have confidence that though I don't know His timing, because He loves me, He is intentionally working it out for my good. As a matter of fact, He is intentionally working all things for my good according to His purpose because I love Him (Cross reference Romans 8:28)!

To wait for God means I must stand still, despite how roarsome the tempests and know that He is God and He is good and He will do exactly what He says He will do!!!

So, I will wait and will not faint!!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Awesome people's Birthdays!!!

To know or be known
The mystery surrounding life
To expose or be exposed
The fear shrouding life
To let in or shut out
Survive or thrive
Or like Shakespeare would say
To be or not to be!

The intrinsic determinant of character,
The assumed knowledge of personality,
The anticipation of understanding,
Concealed behind the facade of reality:
To understand or be understood!

To question or be questioned about wherein lies
life
To be presented with direct or indirect answers
Possibilities or impossibilities, Fullness or
emptiness,
Hope or despair,
Faith or fear...

Mystery and more mystery lies ahead of you,
But faith, love and hope do I pray for you
For every mountain: endurance,
For every river: perseverance,
For every storm: may you learn to dance
For every setback may you overcome!

May joy be your steady companion,
Peace your forerunner and kindness your
currency,
Let your dreams run wild and ambition help you
chase them down,
May the odds forever be in your favour and,

May you find fulfilment in this new chapter:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICHARD!!!

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

For Such Is Love...

Behold the inflation of creation
Curled up in a ball
Floating on seas inside me
A lot less than can be heard
Or felt
A pebble filled with life;
The DNA of the Universe!

How absurd
The process,
The explanation Vs the reality
Words do not suffice!
Not even science satisfies
For the imagination
Matches not the sensation.

The inflation of individuality
Woven with craft unlike any
The active ingredient of uniqueness
Indestructible
Not even two formed side by side
Will share it!

The anticipation of the realisation
Hope bundled with joy
Tramps the pulling apart by cravings
And mood swings
Which seek to tear my soul apart
Shredding my will into
A zillion little pieces!

The longing to hold in my arms;
The epitome of existence
Shall sustain me.
For two hundred and eighty days
Is way more baking time
Than one can take!

It will all be worth it
When in my arms I hold
The epitome of creation
For such is love!


Monday, June 6, 2016

Enter the HolySpirit!

Never in my life have I ever been depressed! Maybe a bit but it all paled in relation to what was happening to me in the season of heartbreak!

Naturally I'm not a burden sharer so I couldn't talk about it but I couldn't seem to find any other outlet either! I couldn't write, sing, dance or even work the pain away. I just couldn't do anything about it.

My heart was kidnapped by this pain that dominated it. It was there, it was real and it was going nowhere! I just couldn't deal!

I called a friend of mine who usually knows what to say when I'm being melodramatic! He listened to what I couldn't say and did the wisest thing ever: he sent me back to God- after praying with me of course.

Needless to say, I did not know how to relate with God in my pain and prayer was not really at the top of my list of things to do.

Enter the HolySpirit!

I decided to try anyway. Honesty, no pretense just plain old honesty! I told God I couldn't deal. I didn't know how or even what to pray. I just needed Him to help me! I'm telling you, my pain was the kind that needed to go and that honesty before God opened up a well as the Spirit of God gave me utterance and started to interceed for me with groanings beyond my understanding!

I don't remember a single thing I prayed but the pain started to make it's way out! The grief started to flw! The heartbreak, betrayal, pain, conflict, hate, betrayal, depression all started to find their level.

I'm telling you, you do not know comfort until of the Spirit of God has dealt with you. You don't know friendship, the definition of help until you have been through His surgery.

To say that He is a mender of broken hearts is absolute truth that I can testify to without speculation! For His healing is divine and wholesome! His help is indescribable! His comfort you cannot even begin to comprehend!

I have no hate! No regret! No fear! No pain! No depression! Only absolute peace and a new heart! A beautiful new heart full of joy at all the possibilities life has to offer!

I commend you to the Spirit of God! He will sort you out!

Emancipated! Enter the Holy Spirit!

Great guy number 2 met me at a time when I had really moved on and didn't need a man to validate my existence! I was entirely emancipated!

I loved men but not to the point of killing myself about it. I was a single mother pursuing a Bachelors degree in Financial Management! My life was full and busy- the way I like it!

I was that kind of young woman that men feared to love because my focus was too damn intense!

You needed to be awesome and very focused to stand a chance to break through the bubble of my completeness that surrounded me! But who was I kidding, I was barely Twenty four and life is long, lol.

Anyway, so great guy number two broke through and he really wasn't all that focused but he warmed his way into my heart anyway! To say my whole heart belonged to him is a grave understatement because I loved him way more than I loved myself. He stirred up in me the kind of love I didn't know I was capable of. I would have died for him a hundred times over!

It was insanely intense and entirely worth it. I grew in patience, tolerance, sensitivity, thoughtfulness, heck even in charm! We planned to get married and boy was I excited!

You cannot even begin to imagine the extent of my loyalty to this man!

I was therefore devastated when the relationship ended! It was excruciatingly painful! In that season I understood that love is more powerful than death because at least death is an end in itself! My heart was ripped out of my chest, run over, crushed, shredded and then shattered all at the same time!

It was so unbelievable that love could hurt so much. I had breakups before but this pain- I would have prefered to go through the pain of child birth again.

I didn't know how to deal! I tried everything I knew how; immersing myself in work did not help. I was dead, not dying but dead.

This is what love was; the gut wrenching ripping of my soul! Unbelievably painful! And no! There was no remedy to the pain!

Never in my life have I ever been depressed! Maybe a bit but it all paled in relation to what was happening to me in the season of heartbreak!

Naturally I'm not a burden sharer so I couldn't talk about it but I couldn't seem to find any other outlet either! I couldn't write, sing, dance or even work the pain away. I just couldn't do anything about it.

My heart was kidnapped by this pain that dominated it. It was there, it was real and it was going nowhere! I just couldn't deal!

I called a friend of mine who usually knows what to say when I'm being melodramatic! He listened to what I couldn't say and did the wisest thing ever: he sent me back to God- after praying with me of course.

Needless to say, I did not know how to relate with God in my pain and prayer was not really at the top of my list of things to do.

Enter the HolySpirit!

I decided to try anyway. Honesty, no pretense just plain old honesty! I told God I couldn't deal. I didn't know how or even what to pray. I just needed Him to help me! I'm telling you, my pain was the kind that needed to go and that honesty before God opened up a well as the Spirit of God gave me utterance and started to interceed for me with groanings beyond my understanding!

I don't remember a single thing I prayed but the pain started to make it's way out! The grief started to flow! The heartbreak, betrayal, pain, conflict, hate, betrayal, depression all started to find their level.

I'm telling you, you do not know comfort until of the Spirit of God has dealt with you. You don't know friendship, the definition of help until you have been through His surgery.

To say that He is a mender of broken hearts is absolute truth that I can testify to without speculation! For His healing is divine and wholesome! His help is indescribable! His comfort you cannot even begin to comprehend!

I have no hate! No regret! No fear! No pain! No depression! Only absolute peace and a new heart! A beautiful new heart full of joy at all the possibilities life has to offer!

I commend you to the Spirit of God! He will sort you out!


Move On Already!

Heartbreak can be devastating!!!

It can shutter you entirely and also. Some times worse than others depending on how committed you were to making it work or better still, how much of your heart was involved.

Growing up, I got involved in so many relationships and most of them did not outlast a fortnight! People always put up an act when you initially meet them or your mind decides what to expect the first time you meet a person. So every time I met the 'real person' I just couldn't deal and the relationship ended.

I can only count two real relationships in my life.

The first was with the most amazing man I had ever met! I was eighteen, he was twenty six and I was totally into him. I loved him! Anyway, it didn't quite end the ideal way. We didn't get married and have babies... There was no proper closure and I continued to crush on him for almost five years after that!

When I got closure though, it was so dramatic how I instantly got over him- which taught me the importance of closure.

Many times I was too afraid to get closure because I still wanted to hold on to the possibility of a re-bound. Of course I would not admit it to myself but that really is the reason I allowed myself to stay 'hanging' when the relationship ended.

My advice to whoever finds themselves in this place; move on!

Don't hold your heart at ransom to the possibility of a re-match because unless you're the irrational type, there's a valid reason why you decided to walk away from the relationship and it probably still stands!

I of course finally moved on and I couldn't believe how much time I allowed myself to waste, shielding myself from a lot of awesome guys because I hoped that one day, my twenty six year old knight in shining armour- who was a lot older by then- would come back to me.

When I let go, I met great guy number 2!!!

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

RANSOMED!



Folly! Sin! Shame!
The Genesis of... The slide to the pit
Downtrodden! Downward, forward!
The illusion of progress masked in footsteps.
The further ahead, the lower the sink into depths untold,

The arms of profanity wide open luscious with lust,
the longing for destiny or destination blurred by the thirst for satisfaction,
Parched throats drinking from venom-filled streams of desire

The more I drink, the more I'm undone, flames threaten to consume me entirely into a creature I neither desire nor recognize! Could this be it! Could this be all there is?!
Cycles of folly entwined in lust?!
An unquenchable longing for destruction inscribed on my soul?!

Light! Light! How He bursts forth!
In armour so bright the Sun would cower, a redeemer of my past did I discover!
A deliver so mighty, a worthy contender for my dirt-stained soul
He washed me in a blood bath-His own blood shed for me,
What wisdom is this that seems so foolish?
What kind of love gives itself up for such a one that recognizes it not?
And how am I to receive a love I cannot give back?

But you see, pay He does not require,
He only needs for you and me to receive His love,
Yes! He only needs for you to receive His love!
This love that morphs us daily into His likeness, transforming us to be more like Him- one day at a time
And when He returns, with unveiled face we will behold
This glorious King crucified for our sin while we were yet sinners!

Brothers and sisters I present to you, Jesus the Christ! The worthy lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! The undisputed Saviour of mankind! The King of Kings and the Lord of Lords! He to whom we owe our very being!