Waking up after my short nap, I reached for my phone to check the time. I saw a WhatsApp text pop on my notifications at 5:40pm and all it said was Nevender 'teary faces'. I bolted up out of my bed and started texting frantically, asking what she meant.
'He's gone'
A million thoughts ran through my mind, I texted back anxiety coursing through my veins. I wasn't getting the information fast enough so I called Karen. And when she said what she said... I thought I was gonna run mad! There was no way! Nev always was a soldier... Nev had days when he did not feel good but he always walked out of that health centre. Maybe there was some sort of mistake and I was not having any of that. I pulled on jeans and a hoodie, grabbed my bag, called my boda guy and rushed home to Konge.
As soon as we made the turn from the 'Sankara Junior' signpost, my heart sank and I started to shiver. I could see men carrying wood to the house and some of the neighbours stood with hands on cheeks, sad expressions on their faces, staring at the entrance of the house.
'No, no, no, no, no' I jumped off the bike. I met his Aunt at the gate and when she reached out to hug me, the tears started to flow.
'Kitalo nnyo mwana wange' she said 'Joel agenze!'
It really was true! This cruel life! It really was true... Nev is gone. Nev is gone! Just like that, Nev is gone.
Last night I understood what it means to be sleepless with grief. I tossed and turned in my bed, trying to catch sleep, sleep that ran like the wind. Sleep that so unfairly eluded me, even avoided me like I was the plague.
My struggle to get out of bed and come to work this morning, is a whole other story. But here I am sitted at my work desk unsure of my ability to be here. My emotions betray me- finding their own outlets. Another day is here and it just makes no sense whatsoever but Nevender woke up to 'Breakfast with God' and that is totally beautiful!
Rest well my brother.
Comments