Friday, November 28, 2014


“You do not have to tell your husband everything… some things are between you, God and your grave” she spoke softly filling this soon to be wife with stupidity.

You may be appalled by the fact that I called it stupidity but believe it or not, that is pure nonsense. What is the point in getting married if you’re going to conceal things about yourself from your spouse? Your life does not belong to you anymore.

A wise woman once said to me, “if you’re getting married for you to be comfortable then it’s not your time yet.”

At that time I of course thought to myself “who says things like that” because it completely did not sound do-able let alone realistic.

One of the more popular quotes in our day is; a man is only as good as his word and that is so true. But does this apply to the male species only? Or does it apply to mankind? We all have those friends who keep telling us what they intend to do and they never get round to it so much that the next time they come up with an idea and share it with us, all we can seem to think is “here we go again!” and very rightly so because like everything else they’ve talked about, it never materializes. How much more a woman who intends to get married and intentionally conceals the truth about herself from her husband?

And by truth I mean your past, present and future. I have heard people say “he does not need to know your past. He may not be able to accommodate you. You’ll scare him” and whatever other nonsensical things they can muster to tell you. That’s a lie!!! That is truly a lie. If that man is meant to be with you, he will be with you. There is nothing whatsoever that you can tell him that will make him fail to accommodate you: nothing at all. A man who loves you will love you past your past. And that ultimately is the love that will sustain a good marriage and stand the test of time. What do I know about being marriage, nothing because I have not been married before but I have been found by a love that has had every opportunity to be destroyed but is still standing.

Why: honesty, truth and the freedom to tell the truth. The very first thing my boo got to know about me was our little girl. Even before there was the prospect of us ever being anything. That was his opportunity to run but he stayed and got to know the truth about me. Am I perfect, no way but honesty presented the opportunity for trust to grow and trust made it easy for love to blossom and ultimately love is the reason we’re here today.

Take it from me ladies, honesty is the only way to go. Not half or part honesty but the truth. Not diluted, not edited. Any man who cannot accept you for who you truly are is not worth your time or your effort. And for you sisters who encourage the rest to conceal the truth, grow up! That’s very immature! The truth and only the truth will set you free.

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