BEAUTIFUL LIFE

You already know what this letter is about. You and I have grown very close lately. The handholding, the walks in imaginary parks, the stolen conversations and the side-glances! All this seems real but it is not! I have felt myself drawn into your waiting arms. Your sweet smelling warm embrace! You have stirred up in me feelings I did not know I had. The love I withheld for my lover has leaked out from crevices of my heart, into your waiting arms. Slowly drawing me away from my dream with your seductive charm. I have tried to leave too often but being with you makes me giddy. My stomach lurches in excitement at the thought of you. I have been drawn away from my lover, drawn away from the one that tirelessly puts up with me. My sweet, kind, considerate and caring lover! The one who looks out for me! My lover who listens to me in ways I did not know were possible. He let’s me be myself and when I am with him I say what I think whichever way I want. It doesn’t...

Sunday afternoon, I decided to take a nap as I really felt off. I could not shake off a certain feeling that I just couldn't put my finger on. I felt it but I didn't know what this 'it' was. So I slept it off. You know how your mind says something is up but you just don't know what it is? This was me. I had been at Church earlier but even then, something was off but I just supposed I needed sleep. Waking up after my short nap, I reached for my phone to check the time. I saw a WhatsApp text pop on my notifications at 5:40pm and all it said was Nevender 'teary faces'. I bolted up out of my bed and started texting frantically, asking what she meant. 'He's gone' A million thoughts ran through my mind, I texted back anxiety coursing through my veins. I wasn't getting the information fast enough so I called Karen. And when she said what she said... I thought I was gonna run mad! There was no way! Nev always was a soldier... Nev had days whe...

Grief consumes me Leaving no space for anything else Grief surrounds me Wrapping me in her cruel embrace Choking the life out of me Leaving me no option but to feel No option but to be held Held by prickly emotions Emotions that flood me That flood every fibre of my being Grief will not leave me Invading with her all her comrades Anger. Denial. Regret. Anger. I tell myself I will not pay her any attention And she laughs her evil laugh As if to say 'I will be here' I will be here waiting Waiting for your denial to pass Waiting to swallow you up Waiting in broad daylight No need for shadows   My eyes well up Bursting forth like torrential rain Uncontrollable! Bursting forth like a broken dam Whose cracks have given way But we mourn as those with hope 13  And now, dear brothers, I want you to know what happens to a Christian when he dies so that when it happens, you will not be full of sorrow, as those are who have no hope. 14  For sinc...